Last Friday I was in Ketchikan. Quite often when I am there I spend most of the morning and early afternoon calling on accounts so many of the usual venues for lunch are not open by the time I am free.
So I was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fuks. I was gonna get big dish of Beef Chow Mein.
Sorry, I have always been a big fan of the late Warren Zevon.
Anyway, one place that is always open for business is the Thai restaurant. It is cheap, quick and friendly.
After the meal I got a fortune cookie and it reminded me of a section of Penn and Teller's book "How To Play With Your Food." Among the tricks it includes is a fake fortune that says "The chef spit in your food." as well as some rather darker ideas.
I always read my fortune but I never believe them because, as Penn and Teller say, I don't believe in the precognitive power of pastry.
I have heard that dumb joke that all fortunes are funnier if you add the phrase "in the bed" at the end of the fortune but that doesn't do anything for me.
There are bakeries that will do fortunes for you; so I am assuming that you can get anything you want within reason. Wouldn't you love to see the look on the face of your fellow diners if they got something other than the usual "fortune"?
As I was sitting there I thought about what might be funny to put in a fortune message. The first two things that came to me were "Your so called best friend is going to stick you with the check again" (that must have come from my father, alev shalom) and the other one I thought of was "Your dog hates it when you do that".
Okay, so I have heard lots of you say that you don't cook but I'll bet all of you out there can come up with some better fortunes than that.
We want to hear from you.
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